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What did you leave behind One small clue from abstract pieces? From a tangled web wound with loose thread A single shred remains to form a thesis What secrets were kept inside your head? The final entry read: “Nothing of note, again” This consistency of your non-existence seems In and of itself a lead taken to the grave As many ways to live as ways to grieve, to persevere To endure seemed unconquerable With so little written as words spoken, no keepsake tokens This outcome deemed inevitable? What impelled your cause beneath the surface? What dwelled at the core? A sign of substance? Traced last steps led down to the riverbed Determined footprints pressed the silt in resignation The Torridge took you, dragged you down and out of view This ice-cold liquid tomb your final isolation So much was left to give if a way was found to break through To loose the noose and breathe again With so little known as to how and why you took the path you chose Undiscovered the truth remains What impelled your cause beneath the surface? What dwelled at the core? A sign of substance? “The gentle breeze softly weaves Through the swaying reeds about my feet A magnolious scene, hauntingly serene Such unopposed beauty beguiling me Becoming drawn to the clart slicked shore With each step regret only enticing me more All plights and strife an irrelevant gripe Amidst the awe of nature’s unassailable might Past victories, struggles and accomplishments Washed away, great strides once made now a frantic wade Cleansing waters douse egotistical pride Proof of life isn’t living when it’s a mere facade…” The cold light of day unveils the looming shadow close behind No exemption for the last one standing With a sense of abject misery I feel the mask slip from my eyes Night will fall upon us all in due course What impells our cause beneath the surface? What dwells at the core? A sign of substance? Traced last steps led down to the riverbed Determined footprints pressed the silt with apprehension The Torridge took you, dragged you down and out of view This ice-cold liquid tomb our final destination Standing here the reach of the rushing river seems As if to beckon me like a siren from the deep The Torridge drag begins to snap about my shins Creeping fear sets in too late to breathe again Swept by the undertow never to surface…

The creeping evening shadows seep in Dusk envelops her visage Prognosticating this sickening night The deepened breathing and maddened seething An imminent eruption implied By the red mist clouding furious eyes… Hammered shattered life A horror at Riverside The toll of the truth comes too soon to intrude Through the static impeding his brain Scrambled, the signal stuck on white noise Relentless tinnitus screaming in waves Clarity comes clear for a second surveying The fallout from this chaotic wake Dismayed it retreats with seismic heaves Vomitous sights far too much to intake Awakening slowly The pieces now falling in place With the Biddiblak blindspot dissolving Horrific epiphany The dawning thought takes hold at last Kaleidoscopic until this moment An impressionist piece left at his feet With a signature marking the art The creator revealed in crimson, congealed His own hands and the tool that they clasp Aghast! He screams! Conceding familiar stylings (Each wound limning his vast malfeasance) In shock he sees This accurate depiction of their “Love” (No fitful “short fuse”, quinquagenarius abuse) The end for them As bleak as the violent beginnings… (He sneaks one last peek at his foul artistry) At last he grieves With sirens enclosing around him (Her final pleas endlessly repeating Over and over again…)

Peaceful nothingness shattered by a rude awakening Snapped from the calming void flickering function saunters in… The sudden feel of falling an intrusion through the mist Sweat dampened sheets clung tightly restrictive like long lost memories The still of night seems damning, judgement already cast Fractured cracks of truth revealing once buried secrets now unearthed It comes and it goes... Golden leaves furbelowing dank silt Brisk September air breathes its comforting chill A picturesque scene set by the dying light Concealing this soon to be unresolved cold case crime A vow made beneath gazing harvest moon Sole witness to this grim conclusion Parting ways, never to speak again Our secret confined to this sodden, shallow grave Midst safety of the shadows evading prying lunar beams Thoughts cannot be gathered whilst admixed with distant dreams… Changing seasons slowly bringing with them crushing guilt Wherein every sleepless second felt as if the walls were closing in Time ticked by so slowly as months trickled into years Decades scrubbing at “the Dirt” yet the stains refuse to yield It comes and it goes… Rainfall heightening the dire mood Barely visible through the mist-veiled gloom An overgrown marsh overcome and disused Fittingly forgotten as with all the Biddiblak morass consumes Digging down through mire and twisted weeds Tension tightening with every mounting heap ‘Til daybreak where the evidence remains Never to be dredged from this wholly fictitious grave All those years spent silently screaming Fabrication of the mind, haunting obsession A life WAS stolen by these soiled hands Yet only my own, this self-condemnation… Sunrise, a sight for sore eyes So long lost in the dark place between “dead” and “alive” Relieved to cross the line, there and back again Free from self constructed guilt and unfathomable, unbearable shame Released from the gnawing mind-trap snare The beginning of the end for this sempiternal nightmare Acquitted at last, rid of these wretched chains Returning only with a bouquet for this solely hypothetical grave

Nebulous shape in the night A figure approaching the bed Neath the sheets eyes shut tight Silence perfected and then Brace for the end... Wrenched from hypnopompic state to a new nightmare The feeling of falling hits hard like the cold floor Flailing limbs, with no end in sight A Biddiblak spell cast o’er the moon Curled into foetal position, instinctually freezing The dull thud of future bruising barely registering Bleeding lip, broken bedside light Glass bejewelled palms anticipate the next move Crawling for the safety of the ensuite’s artificial glare Momentary sanctuary, effulgence just ahead Slam the door and bolt it, back against the tiled wall Vibrations shake the foundations, enough to hold or will it fall? “When will this cease?” Whispered thoughts before sudden jarring peace... Privily sneaking from refuge to survey The aftermath barely lit by waning lunar beams Blood spattered splinters and shattered chattels The set dressing for this desolate scene No sign of the predator remains In the shadowy depths waiting to pounce again? A path of destruction left in its wake Passing debris with haste like dawn's burgeoning rays Reaching the freedom of the outside world A blast of fresh air stinging more than whilom assaults The trail ahead framing a form in the road Laying motionless face down exanimate on the asphalt The carcass pained, a frothing rabid animal Contorted expression of ineffable suffering Consumed by a seizure, a sudden demise Lifeless husk softly bathed ‘midst the fresh morning haze...

[Instrumental]

Darkened room, barely lit Voiceless words seeping deeply in Resounding through an empty chamber A fire kindled, roaring later Fuel poured on by passers-by Sneering provocateurs disguised as allies Planting seeds to watch the garden “grow” Nurturing weeds, inculcation harrowed Now imbued, through and through Biddiblak infused fermented fruitless rubes Once groomed, in full bloom A hive, mindless horde embracing empty platitudes Fallacies forged by duplicitous sources A whole new breed of “feeders” serving venomous courses Taunting from the safety of anonymities fortress Gawking in the shadows, apathetic, remorseless A familiar tale throughout the passage of time Snake oil to sell miracle ointment for the malleable kind Thunder rumbling betwixt lightning strikes A swelling storm of bilious nescient blight Dangerous prey played for fools by slithering leeches The bluntest tools weaponised as legion The noose tightens ‘round the throats of the easily fooled Set loose only to lose Pawns waiting in line for the clarion call Dogs of war unleashed, rabid, raring to bite Fed pathetic rhetoric by the conspiratorially inclined Twisting threadbare screws of poisoned simple minds Past breaking point to where grim “vengeance” thrives Latest weapon unsheathed, perfervid, frothing, it seethes The bloody trail it smears steeping all beneath keening Keyham skies These wounds, deepened grooves Carved into the world by pious barbarous fools Who choose to elude basic truths Favouring long abandoned putrescent views This terrifying trend toward a new Dark Age A wilful return to ignorance brandished, unashamed Death cult in the making, sweeping rancour in vogue Delusional. The usual. And so the story goes. A familiar tale throughout the passage of time Far beyond the pale, oceans of blood devour distant horizons…

Sleepwalking through the months Gathering dust in a fuguelike silent state Plummeting through the motions In freefall, downward, out of phase Lost in thoughtless moments Swarmed by an endless burning inner hum Incomprehensible, inconsolable Palpitations, numbness, blunt Ebullient fragments flash behind blank eyes Was it worth it at the cost of a torturous mind? Ever veering into Biddiblak deep dark waters Dreading the onslaught certain to follow Weakened by the wrought out relentless plight (The bitter truth once swallowed leaves little desire) Belittling residual musings of old Struggling to remember and to let go Caught unawares between crushed dreams And a reality far worse than ever feared In stasis chilled to the frostbitten core Frozen by the notion of enduring one more thaw It remains a long way back… Another awe inspiring glimpse of morning Piercing through the dissipating mist Shattering the maudlin lens A breath of fresh air gasped again Ebullient fragments flash behind blank eyes Is it worth it at the cost of a further decline? A momentary lapse of judgement doused In volatile fuel for future fires to engulf Breached once more despite the warning signs Shrugging off the shudders, pure madness defined A payment across the palm paid in full with fool’s gold Endeavouring to surrender the self to let go Ebullient fragments flash behind blank eyes Waning in the wake of another brief respite Now drowning in Biddiblak pitch dark sorrow Relieved to reach the maw of this final tomorrow Crumbling into a clearing with a view across the sea Beyond the twisted boughs and autumnal leaves Sifting scarce comforting thoughts of old Ready to remember and to let go

“Child was born beneath tempestuous skies Cursed with heartless beady Biddiblak eyes…” Far too late to change Scorched earth still aflame This loathsome path engaged From cradle to awaiting grave… Unbalanced from an early age Ever lunging at the leash With foaming bit champed at A dire misfire at the neuromuscular junction Disrupting any chance of fueling regular function A constant buzzing, erratic nature Frozen from a future where a thaw could break through Utterly inescapable but what efforts were made? Each opportunity given another chance for disdain A tragic and terrifying tale Seemingly insurmountable From the very beginning Chasing mange ridden tail in flailing circle motions No miracle cure, no magic potions Unflinchingly Antagonistically Belligerently igniting every volatile keg Under influence from constant ghastly surroundings Painting darker shades with a toneless pallet She was raised to consume hatred Fed on destruction she will stop at nothing… Mounting decades of waste All consuming rage Her strident gait unchanged Fuming furnace unabated… (Guiltless…) A dreaded diagnosis stops the world before her eyes Blood coughed once in disbelief now a scarlet tinted sign Never more perturbed, never more stillness found Than in this rattled skull so famished for connection, for common ground Nothing. The loneliest vale performed by empty orchestra Silent fanfare deafening, echoing throughout the suffocating air… Reality bites a fatal visceral chunk As storm clouds settle overhead Yet she’ll still find time, aggressively primed To kick and scream toward the bitter end She will court chaos ‘til her last breath… Unbalanced, ever off-kilter Trudging through the misery With crooked glance fixed on Distributing malice every step of the way Fated force of nature, primal, untamed A fiery blaze, a hellish reign Broken, jagged pieces scattered in her vengeful wake Utterly unstoppable, a thunderous roar Unleashed upon the world, pure vessel of scorn A rabid gnashing snarl Snapping ever more viciously With darting eyes set on Chasing the dragon in a permanent daze ‘Neath a pungent fug of sulphurous, bilious haze Repeatedly, unyieldingly Remorselessly disruptive in unbridled tidal waves Under influence from a self prophetic existence Dredging the depths for danker mires to plummet Counting down the seconds As the chimes begin to toll Substance pouring freely From bloodshot eyes and junk-rot nose Slipping fast as colour fades Cogitation setting in Poring through the pages Of the past for salvation Blank and stained with time Dust coated, mould-damped grime No answers nor forgiveness No clarity of mind… Nothing. Smur begins to fall, lightly passive spits The gentlest touch she’d ever know Her loosening grip (a former iron fist) Can only hold on for so long…

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